Two choices.

 I want to describe something for you, two options in a choice available to you, right now.

Say that you have two people standing in front of you. You can ask one of the two to help you out in life. Either one can offer you help getting through, understanding the world in which you find yourself. Their methods differ, as do their messages, but in the end, you're here for the same thing from whichever of the two you choose: help with life.

On your right is a success story who tells you that if you do everything he says, without question, you will reap serious rewards for your obedience. He has standards of behavior that you might consider extraordinary, harsh penalties for failure to live up to those standards, but he also is very quick to forgive you for your failures as long as you ask him nicely and really really MEAN IT. He wants you to consider him a father figure, and he expects nothing less than your total attention, every single day. If you do just exactly what he says and thank him for the privilege, you are promised rewards beyond your dreams. If you fail him, you will suffer like you cannot even imagine for your betrayl, which he will see your failure to be. You cannot question him because he's always right; he's known to be right at all times because he says he is, and you aren't allowed to question that, either. There are plenty of testimonials to his ability to help you get by in life, no doubt. Lot of stories told on his behalf will tell you how he is passing out rewards in the here and now, all in addition to the big payoff at the end. None of the stories are clear on the causality; they never involve him simply handing you success. They're more along the lines of how he must have influenced things, leaned on the right levers to make things go your way. Still, he is happy to take credit for his actions. He has lots of rules, plenty of those, and if you do manage to follow them all, you'd probably be fine, though it helps if everyone else follows those rules the same way you do. If others aren't following those rules, then it must be due to ignorance; your job is to tell them how to obey him, and how to do it right. There's a lot of wiggle room on how to take what he said and apply it in life, and since you can't question him, you can't really get any direct clarifications on interpretations, either.

On your left, by comparison, is a guy who offers advice. He doesn't want obedience from you. He doesn't really want anything from you, other than some time and that you listen. He doesn't want to do things for you, he isn't interested in forgiveness, and he won't hand you a lollipop if you're good. He also doesn't get mad at you, doesn't punish you for being who you are, and hates to see you bend your knee to anyone out of fear. He'll be with you if you ask for help, he'll always be there when you need, but his goal is get you in a position to not need him. He likes smart people because they're interesting, and the best way to help someone become more interesting is to help them get smarter. He isn't here for fame, he isn't here for glory. He doesn't need your validation; he absolutely treasures your conversation. He's selfish, in a sense; he wants you to be better because it improves his life if you are. He can show you the truth of things, and he often does whether you want to see it or not. If you're weak, he can help you become strong, but he will NOT do it for you. Most of all, though, he wants you to simply live. Don't hurt anyone else, because that doesn't make anything better. Help others if they ask you for help, and if you're able. If you can't do that, just leave each other alone. It's a hard life, and the worst thing we can do is make it harder on somebody else. Leave each other be... but never think that you're alone, if you don't want to be. Life is hard enough without having to face it alone.

Two choices. Two stories. Your choice.

Long, lightless night

Tonight, for the first time since 1638, Luna's light will vanish on the Long Night. This is my only Yuletide tradition, but it is particularly apt tonight. I'll be asleep for most of the event, sadly.

My Lady:

In this, the time of the deepest darkness of the year, you await the birth of Your holy Son, the child of the Consort, the new Sun King. The warmth of Your Lord has passed, the harvest taken, His body cut down, His face but a memory. In this time, many fall to despair. There is fear in the dark, and in being alone.

You are not alone. You have never been alone. You will never be alone.

We are with You.

We stand with You in the darkness as we have stood with You in the light. In the Spring, we rejoiced with You in the sacred marrige with the Consort. In the Summer, we celebrated the life all around us and the glory of Your King in His prime. In the Autumn, we mourned with You as He fell, and gave thanks to Him for His sacrifice that we all might live. Now in the Winter, we remain with You. We are here to nuture the life within You. We stand by Your side, holding the light for You and Your Son. We stand watch over You in the darkness til the return of the light. We hold the light for the Sun King. His light will never fade, His fire will never die. As You have stood for us, so we stand for You. Your enemies circle and wait their moment to strike, but You need never fear. No matter how they turn their hands against You, we will always be there, Your sword and shield. None shall pass.

We are with You.

We are Your family, Lady. We have been here with you for as long as we can remember. When you were the young Maiden, we were there. In the heart of Your joy as the Mother, we are here. When the Wheel turns and you are the Elder, we will remain and tend Your fires. When the time comes for us to stand and walk forth into the darkness, we will walk together. We know You are with us, just as we remain with You in this, Your dark part of the year.

We are with You.

So mote it be.

Read, friend, and enter.

When I read, I sometimes note that I have taken on characteristics of the work. I see things from the perspective of the main character. I consider events in the frame of reference of mathematics, physics, social theory, history, or whatever subject about which I've been reading. For a time after I read, I amI enjoy conversation, don't misunderstand, but a spoken word wouldn't cut it. I am enriched by dialogue, but I am enlarged by prose. shaped by the material, powerfully turned by it.

I feel at times that something in me awaits the right text, the key phrase to open up something locked away, hidden from my conscious mind. Pardon the computer parlance, but it is as though I'm sitting at the password prompt to an su - command. Enter the password, and I will gain access to the root filesystem of... who knows? Myself? Insight into humankind? The world? Reality itself, muah ha ha?

I wonder if my text has been written. If it exists at all.

National Coming Out Day

So okay, I think I've done this before, but I'll do it again just in case I missed anything.

I'm not a Kinsey 1, but I'm closer on that end of the scale than I am to the 6 end. I'm polyamorous, actively so due to two of the world's finest women letting me be so. I'm of the opinion that who you love or what you want out of life is no one's business but yours and whomever you choose to let be part of it. If you want to marry, do so with whomever you choose, but that's what works for me. If you want to have a kid and you have the resources to care for it, do so; I don't want to have kids, so I avoid it, but that's what works for me. I'm pagan, solitary in practice but spiritually connected to my chosen family, but that's what works for me. I'm a gamer, a cynic, and sometimes more anti-social than I really wish I was.

Whatever works is the primary tenet of my life; Just Live is the most wisdom I can offer.

LF Dallas Techheads wanting work

 Hey, my fellow techheads in the Dallas-Ft. Worth commuting area of north Texas. Want a job? Know anything at all about VMware? Customer service skills up to snuff to handle a fast-paced tier 1 service desk environment? We're looking. Got two Cloud computing tier 1 support positions to fill at one of the industry leaders in the cloud pool sector. Message me, I want the headhunter/referral bonus. ;)

Wait, a follow up to a project? Who am I, again?

None of you probably remember this post from a while back, where I posted a prelude to yet another writing project. I get an idea, I write part of it down, and I swear to myself that I'll come back to it. Invariably, I don't, and lose track of the whole idea. This one, however, stays with me, so I've finally gotten down a first actual chapter, wherein we meet the protagonist. C&C welcome, and especially let me know if this is a good hook line:

"As soon as her alarm clock went off, Jenn knew this was going to be the worst day of her life." Collapse )

(no subject)

 ganked from seawasp via gridlore 

"I think it's inevitable that as we read each other's journals we create mental pictures of each other. Post this on your own journal to find out who your friends see when they read about your life.

"Two Rules:
1) The person must be in the movies or on TV (but doesn't have to be an actor/actress). The person can be specific to a role or character or just the person.
2) Post a picture.
2a) Repost to your own journal."